The Ego and the mental story we build
Somewhere along the way, many of us learned, quietly, unconsciously, to size people up.
What do you do for a living?
How much do you make?
How much power do you have?
What do you wear?
Within seconds, a silent social status rating is assigned. No clipboard. No math. Just a mental shortcut that tells us where someone “stands” in the invisible hierarchy of worth.
It’s a bizarre system when you really look at it and one that says far more about our conditioning than about the person being judged.
When Status Replaces Substance
In modern society, job titles often speak louder than integrity. Income overshadows kindness. Power outweighs honesty. A polished image can earn instant respect, while humility and emotional depth go unnoticed.
This way of measuring human value is deeply flawed.
A person’s character, self-awareness, empathy, and capacity for kindness are far better indicators of who they are than their LinkedIn headline. Yet those qualities don’t fit neatly into a ranking system, so they’re often ignored.
And that’s where the problem begins.
The Ego’s Role in Social Ranking
At the center of this behavior is the ego.
The ego craves comparison. It needs labels, successful, unsuccessful, important, insignificant, to feel oriented and secure. Ranking others gives the ego a sense of control and identity: Where do I stand relative to them?
Spiritual teacher Eckhart Tolle describes this as ego identification, the tendency to confuse external markers with inner worth. When we identify too strongly with roles, possessions, or social standing, we lose sight of the deeper human being beneath the surface.
The irony? The ego that judges others by status is the same ego that feels threatened, inadequate, or superior depending on the comparison.
Why This Way of Seeing Is Incomplete
Everyone you meet is carrying a lifetime of experiences you can’t see:
- Private struggles
- Quiet resilience
- Unspoken creativity
- Emotional intelligence earned through hardship
- Wisdom gained outside formal success
To reduce a person to their financial or professional status is to miss the vast majority of who they are.
Everyone has something to offer.
Not everyone’s value is marketable.
Not everyone’s contribution comes with applause.
And that doesn’t make it any less meaningful.
The Temporary Nature of Status
History is filled with reminders that status is fleeting:
- Wealth disappears
- Power shifts hands
- Fashion changes
- Idols rise and fall
Clothes wear out. Money moves. Titles become irrelevant. But how someone made others feel, how they treated people when no one was watching, has a much longer echo.
Kindness ages well. Integrity doesn’t go out of style.
Seeing People Beyond Mental Classifications
When we stop mentally categorizing people, something interesting happens:
We actually see them.
Not as a role.
Not as a salary bracket.
Not as a status symbol.
But as a human being, complex, imperfect, evolving.
This shift requires awareness. It requires noticing when the mind automatically assigns value and gently questioning it. It’s not about moral superiority; it’s about clarity.
Because judging others by status isn’t wisdom, it’s conditioning.
Books That Help Break Ego-Based Thinking
If this topic resonates, these books offer powerful perspectives on dissolving ego identification and expanding emotional intelligence:
📘 Eckhart Tolle
- The Power of Now
- A New Earth
Explores how ego-driven identity shapes perception and how presence frees us from it.
📘 Bruce Lipton
- The Biology of Belief
Examines how subconscious programming influences behavior, perception, and self-worth.
📘 Emotional Intelligence & Awareness
- Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman
- Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg
- Atlas of the Heart by Brené Brown
These works help shift focus from external achievement to inner awareness, empathy, and connection.
A Different Measure of Value
What if we measured people differently?
- How safe do they make others feel?
- How honest are they when it’s inconvenient?
- How do they treat those with nothing to offer them?
- How willing are they to listen, learn, and grow?
This kind of “status” doesn’t inflate the ego, it dissolves it.
Let’s Start Seeing Humans Again
Reducing people to status, power, and money isn’t insight, it’s a failure to see the full picture of life.
We don’t need better hierarchies.
We need better awareness.
Let’s stop rating humans like products.
Let’s meet each other without the scorecard.
Let’s remember that behind every label is a person doing their best to navigate a complicated world.
And that, quietly, is where real value has always lived.
Coffee & a Playlist 
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